the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
