i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Randomize
