hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
