my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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