Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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