She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
