fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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