I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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