By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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