I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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