Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
