Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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