who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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