ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
