she looked like the before picture.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
