Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
