your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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