Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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