her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
