wat bout pragnant strippers??
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
