I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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