so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
