HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
We need to get me chipped asap
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
