Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
be right there i have to get my cape
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
