I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
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