This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
