I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
