we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Acid is not a monday night drug
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
