just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
