all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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