I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
