Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
