Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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