What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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