"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
