i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
