So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
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