I must be too annoying 4 u.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
pray to the hookup gods
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
