You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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