Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
