Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I need a beard to bite.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
