he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
