"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Semen is not good for contacts.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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