Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
