I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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