She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
