I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
did you just send me my own nude
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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