Ambien. No doubt about it.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
