There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
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