im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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