whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
