trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
