her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
