The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
vagina is talking i cant
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
