But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
